Titik pandang disini adalah dimana bias-bias kultur yang mempengaruhi suatu kejadian banyak diabaikan orang, dimana pengambilan persepsi antara kultur modern dengan kultur masyarakat dahulu adalah tidak sama dan itulah sebenarnya poin kuncinya.
Bentuk-bentuk perkawinan/kejadian dipengaruhi oleh masanya
- Pada waktu jaman nabi Adam, bentuk perkawinan adalah kawin silang, yaitu setiap melahirkan, siti Hawa adalah melahirkan anak kembar 1 laki 1 perempuan. Jika anak-anak kembar ini telah dewasa, maka yang laki pertama dikawinkan dengan yang perempuan saudaranya yang lahir belakangan, dan yang perempuan pertama dikawinkan dengan saudara lakinya yang belakangan. Mengapa seperti itu? Karena kondisi saat itu seperti itu (masih sedikit orang). Dan perkawinan seperti ini adalah menjadi adat pada waktu itu dan bukanlah sesuatu yang ditabuhkan (dan sekarang dilarang bahkan oleh Quran karena termasuk incest).
- Perkawinan Nabi Ibrahim dengan Siti Hajar adalah pada usia beliau yang masuk kategori uzur (manula) bagi orang sekarang, padahal umur hidup saat itu adalah 85 tahun.
- Perkawinan di usia muda banyak terjadi pada masa-masa lalu, termasuk umat Yahudi dimasa nabi Musa yang menerima harta rampasan berupa anak-anak untuk dimiliki (3 years old!! to sexual intercoused). Juga perkawinan yang terjadi antara St. Joseph (90 tahun) dengan Maria (12-14 tahun) dan nabi Ishak (40 tahun) dengan Ribka - Perkawinan Nabi Muhammad dengan Siti Aisyah adalah dipengaruhi oleh adat/kebiasaan saat itu yang memungkinkan perkawinan semacam ini dapat dilangsungkan. Tentang hal ini sudah dijabarkan misal dalam situs: Dari http://nomind.3.forumer.com/a/aisyah-kawin-di-usia-9-tahun_post282.html
yang mana tautan ini kami ambil dari situs
- Tertulis dalam kitab Taurat bahwa barangsiapa tidak mengawinkan anak perempuannya yang sudah berusia dua belas tahun hingga terjadi ia berbuat dosa maka dialah yang menanggung dosa itu (HR. Baihaqi dari Anas)
- "Sesungguhnya seorang anak gadis itu jika telah haid (baligh), tidak boleh tampak darinya kecuali wajah dan kedua telapak tangan hingga pergelangannya." (HR. Ahmad)
* Lagipula yang menyetujui pernikahan ini sendiri adalah dari pihak keluarga Aisyah:
- Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 58, Number 234:Narrated Aisha:The Prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six (years). We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj. Then I got ill and my hair fell down. Later on my hair grew (again) and my mother, Um Ruman, came to me while I was playing in a swing with some of my girl friends. She called me, and I went to her, not knowing what she wanted to do to me. She caught me by the hand and made me stand at the door of the house. I was breathless then, and when my breathing became Allright, she took some water and rubbed my face and head with it. Then she took me into the house. There in the house I saw some Ansari women who said, "Best wishes and Allah's Blessing and a good luck." Then she entrusted me to them and they prepared me (for the marriage). Unexpectedly Allah's Apostle came to me in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age.
Aisyah binti Abu Bakar.
Pinangan Rasulullah atas Aisyah telah menyelamatkan Abu Bakar dari dilema antara menikahkan putrinya dengan seorang kafir atau mengingkari janjinya kepada Muth'im bin Ady orang tua dari pemuda kafir tersebut yang telah dijanjikan untuk menikahi putrinya. Sungguh beruntung bahwa yang terjadi justru istri Muth'im bin `Ady tidak menghendaki anaknya menikahi Aisyah karena tidak menginginkan anaknya masuk agama baru yang dibawa Nabi, maka pinangan Rasulullah pun diterima. Hal itu terjadi pada tahun yang sama -sepuluh kenabian-, namun baru berkumpul pada saat di Madinah -tiga tahun kemudian-.
* Dan juga dari keluarga nabi SAW sendiri:
- Diriwayatkan dari Aisyah, "Ketika Khadijah wafat, Khaulah binti Hukeim, istri Utsman bin Mazh'un yang berada di Mekah berkata kepada nab SAW, 'Ya Rasulullah SAW, mengapa engkau tidak menikah lagi? Beliau bertanya, 'Dengan siapa?' Dia menjawab, 'Bila engkau berkenan, gadis atau janda.' Beliau bertanya, 'Siapa gadis itu?' 'Yang gadis adalah putri seorang sahabat yang paling dekat denganmu, yaitu Aisyah putri Abu Bakar.' Nabi SAW bertanya lagi, 'Lalu siapa yang janda?' 'Dia adalah Saudah binti Zam'ah. Seorang wanita yang beriman dengan risalahmu dan selalu mengikuti perintah-perintahmu.' Kemudian Nabi SAW bersabda, 'Pergi dan lamarkan Aisyah untukku!"Maka, Khaulah segera ke rumah Abu Bakar. Disana dia menemui Ummu Ruman (ibu Aisyah). "Berita baik dan berkah apakah yang membawamu ke rumahku ini?" Dia menjawab, "Saya datang atas nama Rasulullah SAW untuk melamar putrimu, Aisyah." Mendengar hal itu, Abu Bakar bertanya, "Apakah dia boleh dinikahinya sebab dia merupakan anak saudaranya?" Khaulah pun menghadap rasulullah SAW untuk menyampaikan pertanyaan tersebut. Kemudian, beliau bersabda, "Kembalilah kepadanya, katakan bahwa dia saudaraku dalam Islam dan saudara dalam hubungan keluarga. Akan tetapi, putrinya bisa dinikahi olehku.Maka, dia pun segera mendatangi keluarga Abu Bakar dan menuturkan jawaban nabi SAW kepadanya. Kemudian Abu Bakar berkata, "Panggillah Rasulullah SAW agar dia datang kepadaku!" Kemudian. Rasulullah SAW datang dan Abu Bakar menikahkan Aisyah dengan beliau SAW. (Al Hadis)
Dari narasi diatas tidak tampak bahwa nabi SAW pernah mengenal Aisyah sebelumnya dan pilihan nabi juga didasarkan bahwa beliau belum pernah menikah dengan gadis, kecuali janda, terlepas tua atau muda gadis tersebut.
Source:
- Shahih Muslim Book 008, Number 3311:'A'isha (Allah be pleased with her) reported that Allah's Apostle (may peacebe upon him) married her when she was seven years old, and he was taken to hishouse as a bride when she was nine, and her dolls were with her; and when he(the Holy Prophet) died she was eighteen years old.
- Shahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 64:Narrated 'Aisha:that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated hismarriage when she was nine years old, and then she remained with him for nineyears (i.e., till his death).
- Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 65:Narrated 'Aisha:that the Prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated hismarriage when she was nine years old. Hisham said: I have been informed that'Aisha remained with the Prophet for nine years (i.e. till his death)." whatyou know of the Quran (by heart)'
The response: A'isha get married at 7 years old, brought to the house as bride (consummated), then how, what happened after that? Quite a few information available to point out when the sexual intercourse among them was happened. See below:
- Matius: 1 1:24 Sesudah bangun dari tidurnya, Yusuf berbuat seperti yang diperintahkan malaikat Tuhan itu kepadanya. Ia mengambil Maria sebagai isterinya, 1:25 tetapi tidak bersetubuh dengan dia sampai ia melahirkan anaknya laki-laki dan Yusuf menamakan Dia Yesus.
Let's talk....
The first thing that one should be aware of is that Aishah was the third wife of the Prophet(PBUH), not the first. Prior to this, the Prophet's(PBUH) first and only wife for twenty-four years was Khadijah bint al-Khuwaylid, who was about nineteen years older than him. He married Khadijah when she was forty and he was twenty-one and stayed married only to her until her death. Just after Khadijah's death, when he was round forty-six years old, the Prophet(PBUH) married his second wife Sawdah bint Zam'ah. It was after this second marriage that the Prophet(PBUH) became betrothed to Aishah.
It should be noted about the Prophet's(PBUH) marriage to Aishah was an exceedingly happy one for both parties even the marriage was Divinely ordained:
- Sahih Bukhari Volume 7, Book 62, Number 15:Narrated 'Aisha:Allah's Apostle said (to me), "You have been shown to me twice in (my) dreams.A man was carrying you in a silken cloth and said to me, 'This is your wife.'I uncovered it; and behold, it was you. I said to myself, 'If this dream isfrom Allah, He will cause it to come true.'
Dari disini sangat terlihat bahwa Aishah sangat bahagia dengan firasat yang diperolehnya dari Allah akan bakal perkawinannya dengan nabi SAW. Seorang 'korban' pedofilia seharusnya tidak bahagia dengan perkawinannya terhadap pelaku.
Note: Tes pedofilia
Thus like everything that the Prophet(PBUH) did, there was wisdom behind it and lessons to be learned from it. The wisdom behind such incidents provides us guidance on the basis of human morality, exposes the double standards of misguided hypocrites from other religions that criticize Islam and much more. But more on that subject below. . .
Many other Muslims should no longer be surprised by the double standard that Christians display when they criticize the conduct of Prophet Muhammad(PBUH), since we've heard it for so long. To have an atheist, agnostic - or anyone else who does not believe in a Divinely revealed basis for morality - criticize something that is "politically incorrect" by today's moral standards comes as no surprise. Such people will always find something to criticize, since they simply have a bone to pick with "religion" in general.
While it is true that Christians speak out against the "moral relativity" which is spreading amongst the increasingly secular society today, they too are unconscious victims of it. Their values do not come straight out of the Bible - in theory or in practice - regardless of what they may claim. That Christians today try to take credit for the so-called "Freedom", "Human Rights", "Democracy" and "Women's Rights" in Europe and America is nothing short of a joke.
Keeping in mind the ideas of "political correctness" and "absolute morality", in Biblical times the age at which a girl could marry was puberty. However, during the Middle Ages it was usually twelve years old. Now in most "Christian" countries it is between fourteen and sixteen years old. I live in country where some states allow partners of the same sex to legally marry, but consider an eighteen year old boy who sleeps with a sixteen year old girl a "statutory rapist".
According to Judaism, Christianity and Islam, right and wrong are ordained by Almighty God. The criticism of Muhammad's marriage to Aishah is something relatively new in that it grew up out of the values of "Post Enlightenment" Europe. Certainly, those from a Middle Eastern Semitic background would not have found anything to criticize, since nothing abnormal or immoral took place. It is"modern" Westernized Christians who began to criticize Muhammad on this point, not earlier pre-Enlightenment ones.
The Prophet Muhammad's(PBUH) marriage to Aishah, viewed both in the light of Absolute Morality and the cultural norms of his time, was not an immoral act, but was an act containing valuable lessons for generations to come. Additionally, this marriage followed the norms for all Semitic peoples, including those of Biblical times.
It is upon reaching the age of puberty that a person, man or woman, becomes legally responsible under Islamic Law. At this point, they are allowed to make their own decisions and are held accountable for their actions. It should also be mentioned that in Islam, it is unlawful to force someone to marry someone that they do not want to marry. The evidence shows that Aishah's marriage to the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) was one which both parties and their families agreed upon. Based on the culture at that time, no one saw anything wrong with it. On the contrary, they were all happy about it.
None of the Muslim sources report that anyone from the society at that time criticized this marriage due to Aishah's young age. On the contrary, the marriage of Aishah to the Prophet(PBUH) was encouraged by Aishah's father, Abu Bakr, and was welcomed by the community at large. It is reported that women who wanted to help the Prophet(PBUH), such as Khawlah bint al-Hakîm, encouraged him to marry the young Aishah. Due to the Semitic culture in which they lived, they certainly saw nothing wrong with such a marriage.
Society's ideas of love, family and marriage are much different in the so-called "modern" and "civilized" West of today than they were in Biblical or Qur'ânic times.
Puberty = Maturity = Marriage
These points having been presented, some additional details on a few of them is worthwhile. An interesting article on the age at which people married in Biblical times is Ancient Israelite Marriage Customs, http://www.theology.edu/marriage.htm , by Jim West, ThD - a Baptist minister. This article states that:
The wife was to be taken from within the larger family circle (usually at the outset of puberty or around the age of 13) in order to maintain the purity of the family line;
This is just one reference to the fact that the onset of puberty was considered the age at which young people could marry. That people in Biblical times married at an early age is widely endorsed. While discussing the meaning of the word 'almah, which is the Hebrew word for "young woman" or "adolescent female", Gerald Segal says:
It should be noted, however, that in biblical times females married at an early age.
In spite of its somewhat arrogant Western talk of "primitive cultures", An Overview of the World's Religions, http://www.theology.edu/relig02.htm makes it clear that puberty is an age old symbol of adulthood:
Almost all primitive cultures pay attention to puberty and marriage rituals, although there is a general tendency to pay more attention to the puberty rites of males than of females. Because puberty and marriage symbolize the fact that children are acquiring adult roles, most primitive cultures consider the rituals surrounding these events very important. Puberty rituals are often accompanied with ceremonial circumcision or some other operation on the male genitals. Female circumcision is less common, although it occurs in several cultures. Female puberty rites are more often related to the commencement of the menstrual cycle in young girls.
Another contemporary reference relating marriage age to puberty is an article on Central Africa, which says:
. . . women marry soon after puberty.
There are many other references which should prove to any intelligent person what anthropologists and historians already know: in centuries past, people were considered ready for marriage when they reached puberty.
Even though we have established that puberty has been the historical, cultural and religious norm for indicating readiness for marriage, some may wonder at which age puberty normally takes place.
Islam has laid down no age limit for puberty for it varies with countries and races due to the climate, hereditary, physical and social conditions. Those who live in cold regions attain puberty at a much later age as compared with those living in hot regions where both male and female attain it at a quite early age. "The average temperature of the country or province," say the well-known authors of the book Woman, "is considered the chief factor here, not only with regard to menstruation but as regards the whole of sexual development at puberty.
Many will readily agree with the information above, but still might harbour reservations about whether a marriage to an older man could be happy for such a young girl. Putting aside the modern Western notions of "happiness" for a moment, the marriage of Aishah and the Prophet(PBUH) was a mutually happy and loving one as in expressed in numerous hadîth and seerah books. That happy marriages occur between people with a fairly large difference in ages is known among psychologists:
"When the differences (in ages) is great, e.g. exceeds fifteen to twenty years, the results may be happier. The marriage of an elderly (senescent) not, of course, an old (senile) man to a quite young girl, is often very successful and harmonious. The bride is immediately introduced and accustomed to moderate sexual intercourse". (Theodor H. Vandevelde, Ideal Marriage : Its Physiology and Technique, Greenwood Publishing Group, 1980, p. 243. )
It should be mentioned that from an Islamic point of view, many problems in society today can be traced back to the abandonment of early marriage. Due to the way that Almighty God has created man and woman, i.e., with strong sexual desires, people should marry young. In the past, this was even more true since life expectancy was very low (i.e. you were considered "old" if you made it to 40!) Not only does marriage provide a legal outlet for people with strong sexual desires, but it usually produces more children. One of the main purposes of marriage is to produce children -"be fruitful and multiply" as the Bible says (Genesis 8:17). This was especially important in the past, when people did not live as long as they do now and the infant morality rate was much higher.
Even though we have established that puberty has been the historical, cultural and religious norm for indicating readiness for marriage, some may wonder at which age puberty normally takes place. This is somewhat meaningless in regards to our specific discussion of Muhammad(PBUH) and Aishah, since the hadith literature makes it clear that she had reached puberty. However, in regards to puberty and at what age most girls have their first menstrual cycle, Abdul-Hamîd Siddiqî says:
An article Physical Changes in Girls During Pubertyhttp://www.chmc.org/aboutchi/infoline/girls.htm has this
to say:
During puberty, a girl's body changes, inside and out, into the body of a woman. The changes don't come all at once, and they don't happen at the same time for everybody. Most girls start showing physical changes around age 11, but everyone has her own internal schedule for development. It's normal for changes to start as early as 8 or 9 years of age, or not until 13 or 14. Even if nothing looks or feels different yet, the changes may have already begun inside your body.
Historically, the age at which a girl was considered ready to be married has been puberty. This was the case in Biblical times, as discussed for this time, and is still used to determine the age of marriage in what the culturally arrogant West calls "primitive societies" throughout the world. As the hâdîth about Aishah's age show, her betrothal took place at least three years before the consummation of the marriage. The reason for this was that they were waiting for her to come of age (i.e. to have her first menstrual period). Puberty as a biological sign shows that a women is capable of bearing children. Can anyone logically deny this? Part of the wisdom behind the Prophet's marriage to Aishah just after she reached puberty is to firmly establish this as a point of Islamic Law, even though it was already cultural norm in all Semitic societies (including the one Jesus(PBUH) grew up in). The large majority of Islamic jurists say that the earliest time a marriage can be consummated is on the onset sexual maturity (bulugh), meaning puberty. Since this was the norm of all Semitic cultures and it still is the norm of many cultures today: it is certainly not something that Islam invented. However, widespread opposition to such a Divinely revealed and accepted historical norm is certainly something that is relatively new.
More Wisdom Behind It
In his comments on the ahadith in Sahîh Muslim which mention Aishah's young marriage to the Prophet(PBUH), Abdul-Hamîd Siddiqî shows three other reasons for this marriage:
Aishah's marriage to the Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) at an early age allowed her to be an eyewitness to the personal details of his life and carry them on to the succeeding generations. By being both spiritually and physically near to the Prophet(PBUH), the marriage prepared 'Aishah to be an example to all Muslims, especially women, for all times. She developed into a spiritual teacher and scholar, since she was remarkably intelligent and wise. Her qualities help support the Prophet's work and further the cause of Islam. Aishah, the Mother of the Believers, was not only a model for wives and mothers, but she was also a commentator on the Qur'ân, an authority on hadîth and knowledgeable in Islamic Law. She narrated at least 2,210 ahâdîth that give Muslims valuable insights into the Final Prophet's daily life and behaviour, thus preserving the Sunnah of Muhammad(PBUH).
At that time, this marriage refuted the notion that a man could not marry the daughter of a man who he had declared to be his "brother" (even in the religious sense). Since the Prophet(PBUH) and Abu Bakr had declared each other to be "brothers", this notion was done away with. This is demonstrated in the following hadîth:
Narrated 'Ursa: The Prophet(PBUH) asked Abu Bakr for Aishah's hand in marriage. Abu Bakr said, "But I am your brother." The Prophet(PBUH) said, "You are my brother in God's religion and His Book, but she (Aishah) is lawful for me to marry." (Sahîh al-Bukhârî, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 18)
The marriage did away with the pagan Arab superstition that it was a bad omen to be married in the month of Shawwal. They thought that the month carried this omen since the word Shawwal was derived from Shaala, which carried a bad omen. The authentic ahadith indicate that the Prophet(P) and cAishah were married in this lunar month.
Above, we established the fact that getting married at puberty was an accepted practice amongst not only today's "primitive cultures", but specifically amongst the Semitic (i.e. Hebrew, Arab, Syriac, etc.) peoples of the Middle East. In order to provide additional proof that Muhammad's(PBUH) marriage to Aishah did not raise any eyebrows at that time, I submit here quotations from two Western female scholars who have studied Islam in detail:
It is not clear just when the marriage actually took place. According to some versions, it was in the month of Shawwal of the Year 1, that is, some seven or eight months after the arrival at Medina; but, according to others, it was not until after the Battle of Badr, that is, in Shawwal of the second year of the Hijrah. In no version is there any comment made on the disparity of the ages between Mohammed and Aishah or on the tender age of the bride who, at the most, could not have been over ten years old and who was still much enamoured with her play.
The main point to note is that "no version" was any comment made on their age difference or on Aishah's young age. Why? Such an early marriage was normal in all Semitic societies - such as the ones that Abraham(PBUH), Moses(PBUH), Jesus(PBUH) and Muhammad(PBUH) grew up in!
Another author, Karen Armstrong, has this to add:
Tabari says that she was so young that she stayed in her parents' home and the marriage was consummated there later when she had reached puberty.
It is no surprise that both of the above authors agree on the fact that the marriage of Aishah and Muhammad(PBUH) took place when the former had reached puberty and that this was normal at the time. This is no surprise, since anyone who studies the Muslim sources and Semitic culture would be forced to come to the same conclusion, since it is simply a historical fact. It should be pointed out that both of the above quoted female authors do not hesitate to misrepresent Islam (intentionally or unintentionally) in their other writings. Suffice it to say that if there was some other "damaging" information available, they would not hesitate to bring it to light.
So What's The Verdict?
Montgomery Watt, a long time scholar of Islam, had some choice words on how the West should judge Muhammad(PBUH). Years of studying Islam brought Watt to this conclusion:
The other main allegations of moral defect in Muhammad are that he was treacherous and lustful . . . Sufficient has been said above about the interpretation of these events to show that the case against Muhammad is much weaker than is sometimes thought. The discussions of these allegations, however, raises a fundamental question. How are we to judge Muhammad? By the standards of his own time and country? Or by those of the most enlightened opinion in the West today? When the sources are closely scrutinized, it is clear that those of Muhammad's actions which are disapproved by the modern West were not the object of the moral criticism of his contemporaries. They criticized some of his acts, but their motives were superstitious prejudice or fear of the consequences. If they criticized the events at Nakhlah, it was because they feared some punishment from the offended pagan gods or the worldly vengeance of the Meccans.
From Abraham(PBUH) To "Pick-And-Choose / Feel Good Religion"
Many people have this attitude in spite of the fact that Abraham is held up in their Bible as a towering example of faith. Abraham(PBUH), who was going to sacrifice his own son because Almighty God commanded it, certainly knew the basis of morality. It is clear in both the Bible and the Qur'ân that Abraham knew that whatever God commands is the right thing to do. The question "What is our basis for morality?" is an easy one for those who follow the faith of Abraham(PBUH) - and that's what Islam is. Islam is submission to the Will of Almighty God - "We hear and we obey"- the faith of our father Abraham. If it was good enough for Abraham(PBUH), Moses(PBUH), Jesus(PBUH) and Muhammad(PBUH), then it's good enough for us (moslem)!
The portion of the Bible that we want to look at begins with the Book of Numbers, Chapter 31, verses 17 and 18. Here, Moses(PBUH), following the Lord's command, orders the Israelites to kill all the Midianite male children. The order continues with the following:
". . . kill every woman who has known man by lying with him, but all the female children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."
One can only guess how the Israelites determined who the virgins were. Most probably, they did it based on age and maturity, assuming that all of the female "children" who had not reached puberty were virgins. Keep in mind that this was done, according to the Bible, on God's command to "Avenge the Israelites on the Midianites". Later, God gives Moses(PBUH) instructions on how to divide up the booty, "whether persons, oxen, donkeys, sheeps or goats". Based on this command, "thirty-two thousand persons in all, women who had not known a man by lying with him" were divided up.
Guideposts To Be Thankful For
The Prophet Muhammad(PBUH) was a great example for all of humanity and peoples of different cultures (from "modern" Europeans to the aborigines of Australia). Not only was he a great Prophet and Messenger, but he was also a statesman, military leader, ruler, teacher, neighbor and friend. Family life was one of the most important areas where he was a great example, since he was both a husband and a father. Due to God's wisdom, His last and final prophet experienced a wide array of marriages and family situations. Due to this, he is an example for people who are monogamous, for those who are polygamous, for those wishing to marry those older than themselves and for those wondering how early someone can rightfully marry. Muhammad(PBUH) reestablished the Religion of Abraham(P) so that it would continue to the Last Day.
As Muslims, we should be thankful for these guideposts in our moral journey through life. Reflecting on them aids us in avoiding being led astray into "moral relativism". This is a very dangerous thing, since it can lead to the worst of all sins - associating others with Almighty God in worship, belief and/or Lordship. By knowing the Prophet's(PBUH) life we can see how to stay within the boundaries laid by Almighty God and stay on the Natural Religion of Islam which was made to suit the natural disposition (fitrah) of mankind. I pray that we, as Muslims, make Almighty God's limits our limits, and that we are not influenced by other societies and cultures. If it was good enough for Abraham(PBUH) and Moses(PBUH), then it's good enough for me . . .
Beberapa sanggahan:
akar kata yang dipakai untuk kata yang diterjemahkan sebagai consumate adalah "dakhala". Dari kamus bahasa Arab-Inggris Hans-Wehr halaman 273, arti dari kata DAKHALA adalah “memasuki, menembusi, penetrasi, menikmati perkawinan, tinggal bersama, tidur dengan seorang wanita.”
Yes, there are a lot of meanings, aren't they? There are many dictionaries often insert the words less accurately. Moreover, if it is translated from arabic culture. People have to understand term of isim, ifil, etc in pattern of arabic language. Assume those meanings are accurate. Well, living together doesn't always mean sexual intercouse has occured. Could be anytime or once upon a time in their living. But otherwise, if it means penetration or enter the genital to other, well their culture had covered it.(http://www.come-and-hear.com/niddah/niddah_44.html#44b)
Kenapa anda membandingkan umur abraham saat menikah hagar dengan umur muhammad saat menikahi aisha? apakah menurut anda "umur" abraham yang tercantum dalam kitab perjanjian lama SETARA dengan umur muhammad menurut perhitungan kita?Abraham mungkin ditulis berumur 85 tahun ketika menikahi hagar, tetapi dia juga ditulis meninggal pada usia 175 tahun. apakah menurut anda muhammad and his contemporaries juga punya life expectancy sampai "umur 175 tahun"? sedangkan buku yang sama yang menulis umur abraham saat menikahi hagar juga menulis bahwa Adam meninggal pada umur 930 tahun. Apakah menurut anda muhammad & orang-orang semasa dia juga punya harapan hidup hingga umur 930 tahun? jika jawabannya adalah YES maka baru bisa anda membandingkan umur muhammad saat mengawini aisha dengan umur Abraham saat mengawini Hagar. dan karena jawabannya adalah pasti TIDAK, maka argument andapun gugur.
Are you sure that people in different age have different expectancy?
referense Ibnu Hajar tentang pelarangan bermain boneka bagi muslim adalah jelas dan tak terbantah. sampai sekarang tidak ada sumber islam yang menyanggah bahwa muslim dewasa dilarang memiliki boneka. bahkan foto dan gambar mahkluk hidup pun sebenarnya dilarang. tetapi muslim model anda semua memang sudah melanggar hukum itu. jika memang ada sanggahan mengenai apa yang dikatakan ibnu hajar, tolong post referensinya yang jelas, misalnya buku karya cendekiaan islam si anu halaman berapa yang mengatakan "ibnu hajar salah. tidak ada hukum tersebut".
Main boneka bukan ukuran bahwa seseorang layak menikah atau tidak pada jaman dahulu, apalagi dalam lingkungan masyarakat 'buta huruf'. Dalam suatu keluarga tentu bersegera agar anak gadisnya dapat menikah semenjak dini dan mengadakan atau menjalin ikatan kekeluargaan dengan keluarga lain. Sebenarnya Aisha sendiri sudah dalam batas atau ambang untuk meninggalkan masa kanak-kanaknya (dimana boneka diperbolehkan bagi anak yang belum akil balig pada jaman itu dan dilarang bagi orang dewasa karena masih hot-hotnya peredaran ajaran berhala). Dalam satu referensi yang pernah saya baca, Aishah bermain boneka karena timbulnya keinginan untuk mempunyai anak.
Hikmah lain menikahnya Rasulullah dengan Aishah:
Atha menuturkan, "Siti Aisyah adalah seorang wanita yang paling dalam dan luas ilmu fikihnya, dan wanita yang cemerlang pendapatnya."
Abu Musa al Asy'ari mengemukakan, "Setiap kami mendapat kesulitan, kami selalu menemukan jawabannya pada Siti Aisyah."
Az Zuhri mengatakan, "Seandainya ilmu Siti Aisyah dibandingkan dengan ilmu para ibu kaum muslimin yang lain, bahkan ilmu semua kaum wanita, niscaya ilmu Aisyah lebih unggul dari mereka."
Sahih Bukhari Volume 5, Book 57, Number 113:
Narrated Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari:
Allah's Apostle said, "Many amongst men attained perfection but amongst women none attained the perfection except Mary, the daughter of Imran and Asiya, the wife of Pharaoh. And the superiority of 'Aisha to other women is like the superiority of Tharid (i.e. an Arabic dish) to other meals."
Sahih Volume 4, Book 55, Number 643:
Narrated Abu Musa Al-Ashari: The Prophet said, "The superiority of 'Aisha to other ladies is like the superiority of Tharid (i.e. meat and bread dish) to other meals. Many men reached the level of perfection, but no woman reached such a level except Mary, the daughter of Imran and Asia, the wife of Pharaoh."
Narrated Abu Huraira: I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "Amongst all those women who ride camels (i.e. Arabs), the ladies of Quraish are the best. They are merciful and kind to their off-spring and the best guardians of their husbands' properties.' Abu Huraira added, "Mary the daughter of Imran never rode a camel."
Another case for young marriage:
Yusuf dan Maria dimana Maria masih berumur antara 12-14 tahun sementara Yusuf 90 tahun (http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/08504a.htm ):
matius 1:19-20
19. Karena Yusuf suaminya, seorang yang tulus hati dan tidak mau mencemarkan nama isterinya di muka umum, ia bermaksud menceraikannya dengan diam-diam. 20. Tetapi ketika ia mempertimbangkan maksud itu, malaikat Tuhan nampak kepadanya dalam mimpi dan berkata: "Yusuf, anak Daud, janganlah engkau takut mengambil Maria sebagai isterimu, sebab anak yang di dalam kandungannya adalah dari Roh Kudus. Marriage. It is probably at Nazareth that Joseph betrothed and married her who was to become the Mother of God. When the marriage took place, whether before or after the Incarnation, is no easy matter to settle, and on this point the masters of exegesis have at all times been at variance. Most modern commentators, following the footsteps of St. Thomas, understand that, at the epoch of the Annunciation, the Blessed Virgin was only affianced to Joseph; as St. Thomas notices, this interpretation suits better all the evangelical data.
It will not be without interest to recall here, unreliable though they are, the lengthy stories concerning St. Joseph's marriage contained in the apocryphal writings. When forty years of age, Joseph married a woman called Melcha or Escha by some, Salome by others; they lived forty-nine years together and had six children, two daughters and four sons, the youngest of whom was James (the Less, "the Lord's brother"). A year after his wife's death, as the priests announced through Judea that they wished to find in the tribe of Juda a respectable man to espouse Mary, then twelve to fourteen years of age, Joseph, who was at the time ninety years old, went up to Jerusalem among the candidates; a miracle manifested the choice God had made of Joseph, and two years later the Annunciation took place. These dreams, as St. Jerome styles them, from which many a Christian artist has drawn his inspiration (see, for instance, Raphael's "Espousals of the Virgin"), are void of authority; they nevertheless acquired in the course of ages some popularity; in them some ecclesiastical writers sought the answer to the well-known difficulty arising from the mention in the Gospel of "the Lord's brothers"; from them also popular credulity has, contrary to all probability, as well as to the tradition witnessed by old works of art, retained the belief that St. Joseph was an old man at the time of marriage with the Mother of God.
The Incarnation. This marriage, true and complete, was, in the intention of the spouses, to be virgin marriage (cf. St. Aug., "De cons. Evang.", II, i in P.L. XXXIV, 1071-72; "Cont. Julian.", V, xii, 45 in P.L.. XLIV, 810; St. Thomas, III:28; III:29:2). But soon was, the faith of Joseph in his spouse to be sorely tried: she was with child. However painful the discovery must have been for him, unaware as he was of the mystery of the Incarnation, his delicate feelings forbade him to defame his affianced, and he resolved "to put her away privately; but while he thought on these things, behold the angel of the Lord appeared to him in his sleep, saying: Joseph, son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife, for that which is conceived in her, is of the Holy Ghost. . . And Joseph, rising from his sleep, did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him, and took unto him his wife" (Matthew 1:19, 20, 24).
- Matius: 1 1:24 Sesudah bangun dari tidurnya, Yusuf berbuat seperti yang diperintahkan malaikat Tuhan itu kepadanya. Ia mengambil Maria sebagai isterinya, 1:25 tetapi tidak bersetubuh dengan dia sampai ia melahirkan anaknya laki-laki dan Yusuf menamakan Dia Yesus.
Kejadian: 24
24:1.Adapun Abraham telah tua dan lanjut umurnya, serta diberkati TUHAN dalam segala hal.
24:2 Berkatalah Abraham kepada hambanya yang paling tua dalam rumahnya, yang menjadi kuasa atas segala kepunyaannya, katanya: "Baiklah letakkan tanganmu di bawah pangkal pahaku,
24:3 supaya aku mengambil sumpahmu demi TUHAN, Allah yang empunya langit dan yang empunya bumi, bahwa engkau tidak akan mengambil untuk anakku seorang isteri dari antara perempuan Kanaan yang di antaranya aku diam.
24:4 Tetapi engkau harus pergi ke negeriku dan kepada sanak saudaraku untuk mengambil seorang isteri bagi Ishak, anakku."
24:5 Lalu berkatalah hambanya itu kepadanya: "Mungkin perempuan itu tidak suka mengikuti aku ke negeri ini; haruskah aku membawa anakmu itu kembali ke negeri dari mana tuanku keluar?"
24:6 Tetapi Abraham berkata kepadanya: "Awas, jangan kaubawa anakku itu kembali ke sana.
24:7 TUHAN, Allah yang empunya langit, yang telah memanggil aku dari rumah ayahku serta dari negeri sanak saudaraku, dan yang telah berfirman kepadaku, serta yang bersumpah kepadaku, demikian: kepada keturunanmulah akan Kuberikan negeri ini--Dialah juga akan mengutus malaikat-Nya berjalan di depanmu, sehingga engkau dapat mengambil seorang isteri dari sana untuk anakku.
24:8 Tetapi jika perempuan itu tidak mau mengikuti engkau, maka lepaslah engkau dari sumpahmu kepadaku ini; hanya saja, janganlah anakku itu kaubawa kembali ke sana."
24:9 Lalu hamba itu meletakkan tangannya di bawah pangkal paha Abraham, tuannya, dan bersumpah kepadanya tentang hal itu.
24:10. Kemudian hamba itu mengambil sepuluh ekor dari unta tuannya dan pergi dengan membawa berbagai-bagai barang berharga kepunyaan tuannya; demikianlah ia berangkat menuju Aram-Mesopotamia ke kota Nahor.
24:14 Kiranya terjadilah begini: anak gadis, kepada siapa aku berkata: Tolong miringkan buyungmu itu, supaya aku minum, dan yang menjawab: Minumlah, dan unta-untamu juga akan kuberi minum--dialah kiranya yang Kautentukan bagi hamba-Mu, Ishak; maka dengan begitu akan kuketahui, bahwa Engkau telah menunjukkan kasih setia-Mu kepada tuanku itu."
24:15 Sebelum ia selesai berkata, maka datanglah Ribka, yang lahir bagi Betuel, anak laki-laki Milka, isteri Nahor, saudara Abraham; buyungnya dibawanya di atas bahunya.
24:16 Anak gadis (young girl, http://net.bible.org/strong.php?id=05291) itu sangat cantik parasnya, seorang perawan (virgin, http://net.bible.org/strong.php?id=01330), belum pernah bersetubuh dengan laki-laki; ia turun ke mata air itu dan mengisi buyungnya, lalu kembali naik.
24:17 Kemudian berlarilah hamba itu mendapatkannya serta berkata: "Tolong beri aku minum air sedikit dari buyungmu itu."
24:18 Jawabnya: "Minumlah, tuan," maka segeralah diturunkannya buyungnya itu ke tangannya, serta diberinya dia minum.
24:38 tetapi engkau harus pergi ke rumah ayahku dan kepada kaumku untuk mengambil seorang isteri bagi anakku.
24:50 Lalu Laban dan Betuel menjawab: "Semuanya ini datangnya dari TUHAN; kami tidak dapat mengatakan kepadamu baiknya atau buruknya.
24:51 Lihat, Ribka ada di depanmu, bawalah dia dan pergilah, supaya ia menjadi isteri anak tuanmu, seperti yang difirmankan TUHAN."
24:52 Ketika hamba Abraham itu mendengar perkataan mereka, sujudlah ia sampai ke tanah menyembah TUHAN.
24:53 Kemudian hamba itu mengeluarkan perhiasan emas dan perak serta pakaian kebesaran, dan memberikan semua itu kepada Ribka; juga kepada saudaranya dan kepada ibunya diberikannya pemberian yang indah-indah.
24:57 Kata mereka: "Baiklah kita panggil anak gadis itu dan menanyakan kepadanya sendiri."
24:58 Lalu mereka memanggil Ribka dan berkata kepadanya: "Maukah engkau pergi beserta orang ini?" Jawabnya: "Mau."
24:59 Maka Ribka, saudara mereka itu, dan inang pengasuhnya beserta hamba Abraham dan orang-orangnya dibiarkan mereka pergi.
24:60 Dan mereka memberkati Ribka, kata mereka kepadanya: "Saudara kami, moga-moga engkau menjadi beribu-ribu laksa, dan moga-moga keturunanmu menduduki kota-kota musuhnya."
24:61 Lalu berkemaslah Ribka beserta hamba-hambanya perempuan, dan mereka naik unta mengikuti orang itu. Demikianlah hamba itu membawa Ribka lalu berjalan pulang.
24:62. Adapun Ishak telah datang dari arah sumur Lahai-Roi; ia tinggal di Tanah Negeb.
24:63 Menjelang senja Ishak sedang keluar untuk berjalan-jalan di padang. Ia melayangkan pandangnya, maka dilihatnyalah ada unta-unta datang.
24:64 Ribka juga melayangkan pandangnya dan ketika dilihatnya Ishak, turunlah ia dari untanya.
24:65 Katanya kepada hamba itu: "Siapakah laki-laki itu yang berjalan di padang ke arah kita?" Jawab hamba itu: "Dialah tuanku itu." Lalu Ribka mengambil telekungnya dan bertelekunglah ia.
24:66 Kemudian hamba itu menceritakan kepada Ishak segala yang dilakukannya.
24:67 Lalu Ishak membawa Ribka ke dalam kemah Sara, ibunya, dan mengambil dia menjadi isterinya.Ishak mencintainya dan demikian ia dihiburkan setelah ibunya meninggal How old was Rivkah?
Here, then, are the facts: Avraham left Charan for the land of Canaan at the age of 75 (Bereishit 12:4) and he was 100 years of age at the time of Yitzchak's birth (21:5). The account of the Akeidah (22:1-19) is followed by the report of Rivkah's birth (verse 23), and then by Sarah?s death at age127 (23:1). Since Sarah was ten years younger than Avraham (17:17), this means that at the time of Sarah?s death, Avraham was 137 and Yitzchak was 37. As mentioned earlier, Yitzchak was married at 40 and became a father at 60.
However, if Rivkah was only 3 at the time of her marriage, the ten years until she was capable of bearing a child should not have been included.
If Rivkah was 3 at the time of her marriage, then she was 23 when Yaakov was born, but that would make Rivkah only 122 at her death! Where are the missing 11 years?
At the time of the Akeidah, therefore, Yitzchak would have been 37. Consequently, Rivkah at the time of her marriage to the 40 year-old Yitzchak was three years old.
The second version of Bereishit Rabbah 56:11 solves this. It says that Yitzchak was 26 at the Akeidah, at the end of Avraham’s residence in the land of the Pelishtim. It is this version which R. Eliyahu, the Gaon of Vilna, adopts. According to this chronology, Sarah did not die at the time of the Akeidah, because she was only 116. However, Rivkah was born then, so Rivkah was 14 when she married Yitzchak.
Links about three years old children activities:
Gift Ideas for a Three Year Old Girl
Three-Year-old Girl Set to Become World’s Youngest Tattoo
AGES & STAGES - THREE-YEAR OLDS
Three years old child photo
http://static.rnw.nl/migratie/www.radionetherlands.nl/currentaffairs/cam070801-redirected "Childrenas young as two have been used as camel jockeys in Gulf states."
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3- Age consent in our world today only 100 years ago to girls as young as 10:
The following was produced by brother Johnny Bravo; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him:
Assalam Alaiqum Brother Osama.
I thought you might find the following information of some use pertaining to the marriage of Hazrat Ayesha (RAA) with Prophet Muhammed (PBUH). I took this info from the soc.religion.islam newsgroup and it is written by various knowledgeable Muslims informing that the age of consent in the USA was 10 hardly 100 years ago and 11 in the UK, Talmud allowing 3 year olds to get married! etc. :-
"(And there is evidence that Ayesha was substantially older. That some of our ancient scholars preferred the younger age shows, in fact, that they did not consider marriage at that age to be reprehensible, otherwise they would have preferred the evidence for a later marriage and consummation.)
At the time the marriage was arranged, Muhammad had not left Makka; he was not the leader of a powerful community; indeed, his life was in danger. I raise this point because it is asserted, sometimes, that, essentially, he could have whatever he wanted. Rather, if this marriage had been an outrage to the community, it would have been *very* harmful to his cause."
Above comments by Abdulrahman Lomax.
The age of sexual consent is still quite low in many places. In Japan, people can legally have sex at age 13, and in Spain they can legally have sex at age 12. (This data comes from the Age of Consent chart, which you can see at: http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm )
The Prophet's contemporaries (both enemies and friends) clearly accepted the Prophet's marriage to `Aisha without any problem. We see the evidence for this by the lack of criticism against the marriage until modern times. However, a change in culture caused the change in our times today.
A 40-year-old man having sex with a 14-year-old woman may be a "pedophile" in the USA today, but not in China today (where the age of consent is 14), nor in the USA last century. Biology is a much better standard by which to determine these things in my view, not the arbitrariness of human culture.
***** In the USA last century, the age of consent was 10 years old. California was the first state to change the age of consent to 14, which it did in 1889. After California, other US states joined in and raised the age of consent too. (Source: http://www.ageofconsent.com/comments/numberone.htm )
As for the reasons why we age of consent just seems to get higher and higher, Essentially, we need more education just to survive in today's society, and this takes much more time. This additional education we need to function in today's society seems to me to be the main cause of the increase in the age of consent in many 20th century societies. The Common Law age of consent was 10. The French penal code raised the age from 11 to 13 only a century ago. In England, it was only in 1929 (70 years ago) that the ancient Christian minimum age for the marriage of females, which was 12, was abandoned. The early rock and roll singer Jerry Lee Lewis was considerably older than his 13 cousin whom he married in all legality in Arkansas. Since then, the age there has been raised to 16. That marriage lasted for about 15 years and there was never any other "scandal" associated with Jerry Lee Lewis. The story is quite different, however, for his cousin Jimmy Swaggart (the well-known and disgraced tele-evangelist) who married a woman his own age but later publicly confessed that he was an adulterer and a whoremonger.
In the seventh century, 3 year old girls were burned to death or tortured in Europe for copulating with demons, witches and sorcerers. Strong sexual passions were attributed to the youngest children. Even Jean Bodin, one of the greatest legal authorities of his time, said that the appropriate age of consent for a female was 6. (I do not mean to suggest that 3 year olds did in fact have sexual relations with demons. It is however interesting to see that at that time it was publicly believed that child-adult relations were the fault of seductive children who sought out mature men rather than today's popular belief that it is instead pedophiliac adults who prey on innocent, unsuspecting children.)
In the US (an example of a prominent western country, since the west had the greatest effect on the world in the last couple of centuries.) They considered a seven year old female competent on making decisions regarding sex, though it was raised later on (in 1886, after attempts to raise the age of consent, Delaware was the only state to retain the common law age of seven, while twenty five states set the minimum age at a mere ten.) In older times, children were not perceived in the same sense that we perceive them, but the perception was changed gradually, which is due to a great extent to industrialization, and of course sigmund freud and others came along with their theories and supported these changes in social thinking (the word adolescent itself was introduced as recently as 1904.)
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